Funny Math Jokes I have always found it to be difficult to find funny math jokes, but every once in a while I find one I like. So this week I decided to post all the math jokes I’ve come to love (or at least not hate). Please feel free to add your own favorites in the comments! Quick Hits Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x]. What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi… There are 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don’t. How do you make 7 even? Take away the ‘s’. What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt! What did one math book say to the other? Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems! I used to hate tests. Then my teacher said to just treat them as a game. Now I hate games, too. The teacher said I have to write more legibly, but if I do then she will find out that I can’t spell… There are three kinds of math students: those who can count and those who can’t. Why should the number 288 never be mentioned? A: It’s two gross! Why couldn’t the moebius strip enroll at the school? They required an orientation. Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second one says, “I’ll have some H2O too.” The second scientist dies. Longer Jokes Three men in a hot-air balloon soon find themselves lost, so they call for help to a man walking below them. “Helllloooooo! Where are we?,” one of them shouts. “You’re in a hot air balloon” says the man. One of the men in the balloon calls back and says, “You must be a mathematician.” “That’s right,” says the man, “how did you know?,” he shouts back. “Because you took a long time to answer, and the answer was absolutely correct, yet completely useless.” ex and a constant were walking down the street. The constant notices a differential operator walking along the other side of the street. “Oh, no!” exclaims the constant. “I’ve got to run away! You’ve got to hide me! There’s a differential operator – he could reduce me to nothing!” “Ha,” came the haughty reply. “I’m ex. He can’t do anything to me.” So ex walked across the street and introduced himself. “Hi. How are you doing? I am ex,” he bragged. “Pleased to meet you,” replied the differential operator. “I’m d/dy.” A mathematician, a statistician and an accountant apply for the same job. The interviewer asks the mathematician “What does two plus two equal?” The mathematician replies, “Four.” Then the interviewer asks the statistician and the statistician says, “On average, four – give or take ten percent.” Finally the interviewer asks the accountant the same question, “What does two plus two equal?” The accountant gets up, locks the door, closes the shades, sits down next to the interviewer and says, “What do you want it to equal?” The accountant got the job. A doctor, a lawyer and a mathematician were discussing whether it was better to have a wife or a mistress. The lawyer says “A mistress is much better. If you have a wife and want a divorce, it causes all sorts of legal problems.” The doctor says “It’s better to have a wife because the sense of security lowers your stress and is good for your health.” The mathematician says “It’s best to have both so that when the wife thinks you’re with the mistress and the mistress thinks you’re with your wife — you can do some mathematics.” A mathematician, a biologist and a physicist are watching people going into and coming out of a house. At noon they see two people going into the house. Then at 1 PM they see three people come out of the house. The physicist says “The measurement wasn’t accurate.” The biologist says “They have reproduced.” And the mathematician says “If exactly 1 person enters the house now, then it will be empty again.” If you liked any of these jokes, please share them with your Facebook friends: And I’ll see you next week! Comments comments